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Whatever terrible behavior you're ready to write off men for exhibiting, it's almost a guarantee that there's a woman out there who's done it, too. I know because I've dated a few of them. Plus plenty of terrible first dates with women who stared at their phones instead of, you know, actually talking to me.

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It's not just that I have terrible luck though it definitely felt that way for a while. My queer friends have also had bad experiences dating other women. I'll show you a good time," it read.

Straight Guys Vs. Gay Guys: Awkward Moments

Her phone held dozens of similar messages, and the woman only stopped harassing Zoe when she was no longer single. So, no, dating women isn't as easy-peasy as straight women seem to think. But I get why they sometimes wish they could give up on men. They're tired of men being confusing, misogynistic, emotionally uninvested, and sometimes just plain gross — and that's totally understandable.

There's no question that misogyny is more rampant among straight, cisgender meaning: Still, I wish straight women wouldn't say things like, "I wish I could just date women.


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They don't really mean it. But, at best, thinking that it must be so much easier to be a lesbian is just factually wrong.

FYI: Dating Can Be Terrible When You're A Lesbian, Too

At worst, it's offensive. In saying that they wish they could be lesbians simply to avoid dating men, straight women are ignoring all of the terrible shit real queer women have to go through.


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  5. Like worrying that their friends and family will no longer love them once they come out, feeling as if they can't hold their partners' hands in public or weathering dirty stares when they do , and dealing with homophobia from strangers, coworkers, law enforcement, and even family let me tell ya, my grandfather wasn't exactly happy when I told him I was dating a woman — all of which can lead to some serious consequences.

    We're at a greater risk for violence from partners, too.


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    All of that aside, it's also just not true that being a lesbian magically takes away the stress, drama, and insecurity involved in dating. Believe it or not, even lesbians have to go on awkward first dates and deal with people who disappear out of the blue.

    More from Sex & Relationships

    So, please stop telling me that being a lesbian is so much easier than being a straight woman. It's not. You can buy Game of Thrones Oreos, Game. Contrary to popular belief, relationship health and quality is quite similar across gay, lesbian, and heterosexual partnerships.

    How are Gay and Heterosexual Relationships Different?

    Of the differences identified to date, some suggest that gay and lesbian partners are slightly better off than their heterosexual counterparts, while others imply that they are slightly worse off. One noted advantage of same-sex couples is that they are nicer and use more humor during arguments compared to heterosexual couples. Despite having less heated debates, same-sex couples tend to break up more frequently. Barriers refer to the potential losses you might suffer emotionally or financially if you were to end a romance. Why do same-sex couples report fewer barriers?

    One reason is because most same-sex partners do not have the legal option of getting married. Thus, it could be that certain barriers are weaker in gay relationships because they usually do not need to consult attorneys and appear in front of a judge if they want to end their partnerships. Although I have focused most of this entry on the topic of differences, please keep in mind that basic relationship dynamics are largely the same across most couple types.

    What Makes Same-Sex Relationships Succeed Or Fail?

    Thus, when comparing same- and opposite-sex relationships, there are actually far more similarities than there are differences. Interested in learning more about relationships? Are gay and lesbian cohabiting couples really different from heterosexual married couples?

    Journal of Marriage and Family, 66, Marginalized relationships: The impact of social disapproval on romantic relationship commitment.