So you cherish all the memories, but find yourself letting go and moving on.
This feeling is normal. Can you relate to the need to move on? Share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below. It begins with you. If you believe you may have the strength to tackle these emotions by yourself then do so. You need to decide just how you are going to handle all of this and which steps to take to ensure that you can truly get over this.
Breaking up with somebody is difficult and you will need all the strength you may muster to find a way to get over it. Dealing with your discomfort the right way is empowering. You might come out the opposite end, a better person for it. First, and this is extremely important, allow yourself really feel the pain.
Go ahead and wallow in it. But just for a short time. This is a very important part of the healing process. Remain in bed for a day and cry your eyes out. Punch a pillow. Do whatever you have to do to constructively deal with your discomfort. Believe it or not, doing this allows you to put into place, the groundwork for the following weeks and months, while you settle back into the single lifestyle. Now, what do you do right after your day of wallowing? Onward and upward! You might be better off without the person you broke up with. You can decide if you really should get back your ex or move on.
You need to take a long look at your life and start figuring out where and want you want to do with your life. Having an objective in mind will help keep you centered.
Produce a checklist that you need to tackle each day. Take a holiday, go back to college, reconnect with old buddies or heck, clean out that closet you may have been planning on doing for a while, but never got around to. Organize your plans, as well as, your everyday living.
Many people believe that everything happens for a reason. We may not understand why, at the time. You will find your answer, eventually. You will figure it out in time. Some simply call this learning from our mistakes.
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It can be far more spiritual than this. You really will figure out if you should get back your ex or decide if you are better off alone. If your ex has caused you pain and heartache more times than you care to count, you may decide you need to just get over it and then move on. Only you can really decide these things. Keeping yourself available to be at a guy's every whimsical beck and call is no way to live. Fact is that if you follow wherever he leads, you'll never have a healthy relationship - start as you mean to go on, and know how to stand on your own two feet before falling head over heels in love with an unworthy guy.
One reason that men and women think differently about this topic is their proclivity to feel either 'free' or 'committed'. Some guys want nothing more than to maintain their free and easy lifestyle, and come in two categories. For the first type, whether it's work, friends, sports or other interests that keep them busy, the thought of devoting the entirety of their attention to a relationship scares the heck out of them. The second type of men just love being single.
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It's only these second type of guys you need to be wary of. There's always potential to have a meaningful relationship with the first type - as long as you can accept that they have other interests outside of your love. If a guy's only passion is meeting new people and hanging out with the guys at bars full of hot girls, however, then that's a red flag!
If it's a man like this who's sending you mixed signals that's a game changer: Chances are, probably not.
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No-one likes having their time wasted like this, but don't fall into the trap of wasting your own time too! Bad habits to look out for; checking your digital communication channels too many times in the day texts, email, however you message each other , stalking him on Facebook, Twitter or other social media, and game playing - his bad behavior doesn't give you license to act out. Whatever you do, try not to change your day to day existence before this relationship gets more serious - a change for the worse can happen before you even realise it!
One final word on this topic: This one's taken from Merriam Webster: All people - women and men included - are negatively affected when they don't know where they stand. Take the view that if they're playing games with your love and affection, they're not worth the trouble. Worst case, you can always ask a guy a direct question.
The 'let's define our relationship' conversation is much-maligned, but useful if you need to know whether it's just dating or something more. If you confront a guy about him sending the wrong signals, you should be able to expect sympathy, understanding, and at the very least maturity.
If you're too frightened to have this conversation, perhaps it's not the relationship for you - asking a guy to be more direct with you isn't asking for the world. Take the time to heal before you embark on the search for something better however. Pay attention to your needs, be kind to yourself and ensure you're content in your own skin in order to be ready for love to enter into your life again.
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Michael Middleton is an editor for EliteSingles. You can follow him on Twitter See more articles written by Michael Middleton. Member login.